He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
