Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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