is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
