He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize