my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
