oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
