insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
