put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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