That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
