well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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