she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
