I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
