I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
