so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize