You're so nebulous sometimes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
