question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
