Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize