I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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