How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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