Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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