You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
