): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
