Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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