you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
