WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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