I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
