He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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