when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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