I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
