So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
