I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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