went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
