Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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