More tranny stories later!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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