i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
