I cannot find my penis.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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