hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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