Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
