She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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