are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
