hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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