Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
