remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
