I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
