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worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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