Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
