I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Enjoy the penises
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
