During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
