Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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