It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
