It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
