that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize