I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
