Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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