its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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