i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
