I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
