dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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