i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
