I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
