This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
