They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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